Sophisticated CBT for lasting change
I love this old New Yorker cartoon! Who hasn’t felt like this? Even if you are a smart, motivated, and psychologically-minded person, it is darn tough to change for the better. And here xyz (yes I did get copyright permission!) wisely points to the culprit - our long-held beliefs.
From the perspective of a depth-oriented therapy (such as CBT when practiced at a high level), we know that it our long-standing world views, naturally deriving from early experiences, that shape our current functioning. Meaning that our good traits, best patterns of interaction, and sense of well-being are all driven by our formative - and subsequently reinforced - positive beliefs about ourselves and the world.
You see what I did there, right? I started with the positive to make a point. You are not only ruled by those negative long-held beliefs that get you in trouble. This reminds us that this core-beliefs-shape-us idea is not itself the problem, it’s not a bleak enterprise — it’s just that we have a subset that are working well for us, and another that isn’t.
The other good news is that this framing identifies the potential intervention point - sussing out those negative core beliefs. How we got them, how they may have made sense when we developed them — we’ve got to have some respect for all of that, be kind to ourselves about it. And then - most importantly, and sometimes neglected in supportive talk therapy - we have to give them a good but not endless review, and a realistic not pollyanna refresh, and then crucially, some solid practice on how to apply them actively in current situations.
To be fair, addressing long-standing beliefs is sometimes the hardest work in therapy, and it can take a minute! And I don’t believe that everyone can, should, or needs to do that. (What a radical thing for a NYC psychologist to say! Maybe more on that in another post.). But where possible, it sure is satisfying to work effectively on your worldview, filter those changes through your current interactions, and feel better in the world than you did before. That’s golden.